How to Hate Apple Products
With the release of the iPad this week, Apple once again got it’s fair share of scorn. This time, it came from two fronts. One side mocked Apple for the horrible name it gave to it’s new, “revolutionary” product. The other side hated it outright and came up with every reason to do so. Like clockwork, we heard the same song and dance from the peanut gallery. It’s become so commonplace to hear the same complaints, nitpicks, and gripes that even this Apple fanboy knows exactly how to hate and discredit Apple products. Here’s a guide on how to…
Step 1: Follow the live blog and/or read the following articles about the reveal on your non Apple computing device (PC preferred)
This one is obvious. Odds are you aren’t part of the flock and probably will never be part of the flock so enjoy Engadget’s coverage on Internet Explorer.
Thank god for cups…
The athletic kind, not the kind you fill…MAZEL TOV!
Played my first street hockey game today. I didn’t bring a helmet but I did wear a puck. Thankfully I had my priorities straight or else I wouldn’t have a shot on goal and I’d be in a lot of pain right now,..
Dealing with writer’s block yet again…
Something creative should go here.
Conan Remains Classy
People of Earth:
In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.
Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.
But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.
Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.
So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.
There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.
Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.
I like Nikki Finke’s analysis of this statement. It’s not exactly a big “Fuck you NBC, I quit!”. It’s more of a, “Hey NBC. This’ll teach you to fuck with a tall, skinny, pale Irishman with hair crazier than Gary Busey! It’s on bitches!” I’m glad he finally came out and said everything we were thinking.
A part of me selfishly wants Conan off late night TV. He was instrumental in writing some of the best episodes of The Simpsons. He can do a lot better than late night television.